Black History Month – Is it relevant?

Can you guest post your own previous post?
Well I am doing it…

“If black people want to be seen as the same as everyone else, then why do they want a full month to encourage segregation?”

Oh, there are so many things that bothered me about this statement. It’s what fueled my sudden need to address this “issue.” My initial thoughts were:

‘Either these people don’t think that black history is important enough to celebrate for 28 days – or – they don’t think black’s contributions to their American history is deserving of any particular emphasis.’

However, I won’t let that odiousness soil the important issue. I genuinely want to address it from a critical stand point.

So, let us first clear up that no black American I have ever met has wanted to be seen just like everyone else. We want our differences to be acknowledged for our unique beauty; however, we don’t want our different skin tones and hair textures to be seen as inadequacies.

Secondly, if you think that BHM only helps to segregate our culture from America then you’ve grossly misinterpreted the purpose of BHM. It was started to explore black import to American society. It was started to integrate black history into American history – for the realization black Americans had an imperative role in the development and success of our American country.

“… then why don’t we have Indian History Month, Hispanic History Month, or White History month?”

Well, these are very valid points, but I suggest before you insult someone you take my advice and follow these links: Indian Heritage History Month, Hispanic History Month, Asian Pacific American Heritage Month (in fact Black History Month came AFTER Indian Heritage History Month). For white history month…well, now I’m confused. Possibly you could be more specific. Do you mean Irish History Month? Or German History Month?

AND….Before you assume that BHM isn’t or cannot be all inclusive, simply study it. Could BHM even exist if black Americans were the only ones who thought it was important? Absolutely not.
If you study black American history you will not only discover it’s relevance to American history, but to the entire world. Study black American history and you begin to discover many things about yourself (no matter what color) and the people you surround yourself with. You will discover how people treat one other just to preserve their privilege, how mighty of a force a like-minded motivated people can be, and issues of conformity and lessons that need to be learned in order for our country to progress. Black History is important. Black history IS American History and that’s why America celebrates it.

Finally, for those of you that responded to my question with a disheartened tone. You told me that Black History Month mattered, but was sorely unappreciated. Well, don’t let anyone forget and don’t let anyone assume it’s irrelevant because they’ve been mis-educated. Remember, do not let February be the only month you educate everyone around you about black history – about American history.

(If companies use BHM as a marketing strategy, let them! There should be no outlet forbidden to educate our country.)

Thank you so much everyone who responded to my question! Someone of you thought BHM to be an absolute necessity to realize atrocities of racism, or for mere pride in your own race. Some of you thought BHM is unfair, or simply unnecessary. What ever your response was – it was appreciated. The purpose of all of this is co-learning and I hope you learn from me the same way I’ve learned from you.

Interactive Black History Timeline

Yea, so what? I sneaked a look at my boyfriend’s email from his mom.

THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER

This one is a little different… . Two Different Versions… ……… ….

Two Different Morals

OLD VERSION

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away..

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

MODERN VERSION

The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies  for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.

CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, ‘It’s Not Easy Being Green.’

ACORN stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house where the news stations film the group singing,

“We shall overcome ” . Then Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper’s  sake.

President Obama condemns the ant and blames President Bush, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper’s plight.

Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share..

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar and given to the grasshopper.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn’t maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and once peaceful,  neighborhood.

The entire Nation collapses bringing the rest of the free world with it.
MORAL OF THE STORY:  Be careful how you vote in 2010.

I’ve sent this to you because I believe that you are an ant and not a grasshopper!

Make sure that you pass this on to other ants.  Don ‘t bother sending it on to any
grasshoppers because they wouldn’t understand it, anyway.

By the time I finished reading this e-mail, flames were spewing from my ears and nostrils.

I once dated a man whose father told him that I was the devil, because I didn’t go to the same church as him. This is worst.

So many things wrong with this, it almost seems sarcastic… but it’s not. They really watch Fox News (I say that, because that network is conveniently not listed) for their ide0logical stimulation.

Bigots walk priests to the plank of Celebrity Cruise?

Bill, lol.

Bill, Bill, Bill… you’re so melodramatic.

 “In other words, because some anti-Catholics objected to daily Mass onboard the ship, Celebrity Cruises threw the priests—and the lay Catholic men and women with them—overboard,”  he said in a written statement.  “Instead of standing on principle and telling those generating the ‘negative feedback’ that no one is forced to go to Mass, and that tolerance demands respect for religious freedom, officials at Celebrity Cruises decided to yield to the bigots.”

Mr. Bill Donohue, I don’t exactly think the definition of bigotry is complaints about unfair religious representation. And to be fair, Catholic’s do have quite a history of bigotry themselves….not to mention sexism, classism, pedophilia … and (okay I’ll stop, that’s not actually relevant to the story).

 You know what I’m thinking? I’m thinking there is a lot more to this story. Why were there so many complaints? I wish I had the time and resources to investigate this…

“While we do meet the needs of many guests onboard by supplying a priest, we have recently encountered a great deal of negative feedback pertaining to the ‘selective’ support of one particular religion/faith. Out of respect for our guests of all religious faiths, Celebrity has chosen to align the religious services provided for Catholic, Protestant, Jewish and Interdenominational faiths, effective January, 4, 2010.” – Celebrity Cruise

McCain is an Idiot

Okay, maybe that’s a little harsh… and maybe he really isn’t an idiot. But why must he make idiot-like comments?

“GOP critics have noted that former Sen. Trent Lott, R-Mississippi, lost his post as Senate majority leader in 2002 after saying that the nation would have been better off if Strom Thurmond had been elected president in 1948 when he ran on a pro-segregation platform as a Dixiecrat.

There has been a “stunning double standard as far as the treatment of Sen. Lott, who also made unfortunate and inopportune remarks, and the treatment of Harry Reid by the liberal left,” McCain said on NBC’s “Today” show.”

Excuse me? How is that parallel? Trent Lott said something along the lines of :

“When Strom Thurmond ran for president, we voted for him. We’re proud of it. And if the rest of the country had followed our lead, we wouldn’t have had all these problems over the years, either.”

For those of you, who have the pleasure of not knowing who Thurmond is, well just briefly let me inform you that voted against the Voting Rights Act, against Civil Rights Act, and was for racial segregation.

And… Senate Majority Leader Reid, made an observation that the American public hasn’t let go of it’s past enough to be ready for a black leader who was darker and with a “negro-dialect.”

Talk about a fallacious comparison… is it because he said “negro” does that make the statement equivalent?

What the hell is McCain’s motive here?

That’s rhetorical – we all know what his motive is.

And the Award goes to ….

The Norwegian Nobel Committee has decided that the Nobel Peace Prize for 2009 is to be awarded to President Barack Obama for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples. The Committee has attached special importance to Obama’s vision of and work for a world without nuclear weapons.

Obama has as President created a new climate in international politics. Multilateral diplomacy has regained a central position, with emphasis on the role that the United Nations and other international institutions can play. Dialogue and negotiations are preferred as instruments for resolving even the most difficult international conflicts. The vision of a world free from nuclear arms has powerfully stimulated disarmament and arms control negotiations. Thanks to Obama’s initiative, the USA is now playing a more constructive role in meeting the great climatic challenges the world is confronting. Democracy and human rights are to be strengthened.

Above is an excerpt of the press release from Nobel Foundation about their decision to award President Obama with the Nobel Peace Prize. The news obviously startled many; which doesn’t surprise anyone considering some of the animosity that many people harness towards his “ridiculous liberal notions of progression.”

But as I hear more and more about the prize and the other candidates – I wonder do I agree with the criticisms. Reading through the press-release makes the decision sound incredibly political, decisions based on potential instead of demonstrated merit; what-ifs instead of actual events.  I think President Obama has similar sentiments:

“I am both surprised and deeply humbled,” Obama said at the White House. “I do not view it as a recognition of my own accomplishments. But rather as an affirmation of American leadership. … I will accept this award as a call to action…”

Obama said he did not feel he deserves “to be in the company” of past winners, but would continue to push a broad range of international objectives…”  CNN reports.

However, according to an excerpt from Nobel’s will,  “the Peace Prize should be awarded ‘to the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses.’” – Who is to say that President Obama hasn’t done the best work? The only problem is … we don’t know, yet.

“Women Haters” Vs. Racism

I have a confession. I am an avid listener of NPR…but I haven’t contributed any money to them….and… I change the station when they start asking for money.  I promise to do better.

  Anyways, now that I got that off my chest I want to discuss something that sparked from NPR a couple of weeks ago.

 My boyfriend and I are in a long car ride from his parent’s house listening to NPR and there were individuals debating the issue of race when it came to the TEA Party, Republican representative Joe Wilson’s outburst, and what they perceived as blatant hatred for Barack Obama’s presidency.  The boyfriend turned down the volume and asked me what I felt about racism brought up in the discussion of people’s disproval of President Obama.

 

I thought about it for a moment. I didn’t want to be too quick to answer, because whenever you immediately assert that there is sexism, racism, colorism, or classism intertwined in an issue then it seems to take the “boy who cried wolf” effect – no one wants to acknowledge your accusations anymore; you’re considered radical.

 

Here’s the response I finally felt was appropriate.

 “You know how whenever a woman criticizes a beautiful woman and everyone tells her that she’s being a ‘hater?’ Even when the criticisms are legitimate? I think that is the case a lot. However, although the criticisms may be legitimate, it’s possible that because many woman have an innate hatred for another woman who looks better than them ( I was trying to be funny, but it can be true with many insecure people) there is a screen that may really affect their judgments.

 Same thing with racism… People can deny they are racist and genuinely believe they aren’t. But we aren’t as far away from our oppressive history that we all like to act. We can easily slip into our unconscious biases – especially when we feel threatened. I don’t believe a lot of them are intentionally exerting racism. ”

Simple. Right? Maybe not.

Dear Chris Brown, no one believes you…

…and those of us who do, are just in severe denial.

I know that many of us who feel some what educated on the situation have lost interest and wish the story would stop being spotlighted. However, I would desperately like to take this (prolonged) moment to shed some light on the actual horrors of the situation.

FIRST, let’s take a look at what Mr. Brown feels he is entitled to:

King: What do you think caused you to be violent? I mean, you have to think about it. Everybody — we all think about ourselves — why did I lose my temper, why did I get angry over this?

Brown: I mean, that’s relationships. I wouldn’t say it’s OK. I think, just in relationships in general, there’s chances where you lose your temper or like arguments get heated or whatever the case may be. I’m not saying domestic violence is a part of relationships.

I feel like that we’re young. We’re both young. So nobody taught us how to love one another. Nobody taught us a book on how to control our emotions or our anger. I’m not trying to fall on the fact that I’m young. I’m just saying it’s a lot of stuff that I wish I could have changed that night. 

King: When you hear about all the things that the police and the reports say you did, how do you react to that?

Brown: I’ll just look at it and like, “Wow, like, I’m in shock. Because, first of all, that’s not who I am as a person and that’s not who I promise I want to be.

King: Do you remember doing it?

Brown: No.

King: You don’t remember doing it?

Brown: I don’t. It’s like it’s crazy to me.

Mr. Brown…you don’t remember? How convenient.

Mr. Brown…we know you didn’t lose your temper. You didn’t need anger management courses, you need someone to enforce in you, what exactly your entitlements consist of…or better yet, what they do NOT consist of.

(Does he think that we don’t realize that most batterers claim they are in love with the survivor?) We don’t doubt that love was there, we don’t think you hit her because you don’t love her – we know you think you hit her because you believe you are entitled to it, because you needed to exert “Power & Control” over her.

Chris Brown assumes all the appropriate roles that a batterer often does:

• He’s Charming
• Good Looking
• Controls His “Boyish” Charms in the Public Spotlight
• He’s Smart

What we, as a society, don’t recognize is that batterers are all of the above – and more. They are very intelligent, incredibly divisive, and fully conscious of all of their decisions -even if they “don’t remember” after wards. As a society, we often like to think of batterers as people who look unkempt with no education and no class (which they very well could be).Well, thanks Chris Brown for reminding us that, that just isn’t so.

What’s worst about Mr. Brown’s incident? All signs of lethality are obvious (I would pray in whichever religion you believe in for Rhianna if she goes back, I don’t anticipate her surviving the relationship – literally.)

Let’s visit national statistics about Domestic Violence and increased lethality warning signs.

• Disregard for consequences – Mr. Brown beat Rhianna in a public place, in broad daylight – he dragged her out of the car for all to see. He either didn’t care about the consequences or thought he was above them.
• Threats to kill the survivor (obviously) – Mr. Brown told Rhianna that when he was going to kill her before the cops got there, if she called them.
• Extreme Jealousy – Hmm… didn’t it all stem from an argument about who she could and couldn’t see? Which also leaks into the next indication of lethality
• Separating the survivor from all of his/her support systems (i.e. family and friends)
• Perceived loss of control over the survivor

Okay, I will stop there. I got sick to my stomach when the incident was first publicized, because every forum or public commentary had hundreds of women and men blaming Rhianna. Including, a talk show THE VIEW.

I was particularly disgusted by them. They blamed her by saying that she needs to leave the relationship and shouldn’t go back for the sake of all women. Then they turned around and said that she shouldn’t have hit him in the first place.

First of all, only Rhianna knows if it’s safe to leave her relationship. Lethality increases 70% when a survivor tries to leave a relationship with Domestic Violence. In some unfortunate cases, it’s safer to STAY in the relationship. Secondly, if it were that easy, emotionally, to leave the relationship then we wouldn’t have so many survivors still in the relationship.

THIRD OF ALL, I cannot believe The View really had the audacity to put ANY blame on Rhianna. There is a clear difference between Rhianna shoving Mr. Brown and him shoving her back (unhealthy, but still equal) – vs. Rhianna shoving Mr. Brown and Mr. Brown beating the shit out of her. There is a clear “Power and Control” imbalance there and denying that on public television is just despicable. Rhianna has no dues to society other than to take care of herself and survive the traumatizing part of her life, the best that she can, period.

We could all benefit by taking the situation for what it was, instead of making assumptions based on what would make us feel more comfortable in our future choices in relationships.

I chose to be Heterosexual.

Of course I didn’t…that’s absurd. I grew up knowing that I was attracted to men and wanted to be with men. period.

So what intheehell makes people think that anyone who identifies with the  LGBT(Q) community had a choice? I have yet to meet a heterosexual individual who said “hey, when I came of age to decide whether or not I was attracted to men and women, I decided on men. It just seemed natural.”

Here is what would solve ALL of our issues today. Ready?

If you are not the demographic you are criticizing then don’t tell them how they should feel.

If you are a white man don’t tell me what’s its like to be a black woman - you don’t know, and it would be absolutely impossible for you to ever know.

If you are in a healthy relationship and always have been, do not tell your friend who has been suffering from domestic violence how they should feel and what they should do – because how would you know?

If you are dating the opposite sex, always have been, always desired to…  do not tell anyone who identifies with the LGBT(Q) community how their life is a choice. How would you know??? You wouldn’t.

Your job – as a human being  or even as a friend – is to listen and support. Stop trying to “solve” things that you don’t understand. You can’t – you just end up oppressing individuals, because inevitably you miss the depth of the “issue.” It is my personal belief that we could all progress so much further if we just took a deep breath and listened, and attempted to accept that we couldn’t live anyone else’s life better than they are already living it.

I would also like to dispel the ridiculous myth that people turn gay or lesbian from childhood incidents of sexual assault. Think about it, do you really believe that someone who considers herself a lesbian turns straight, because she got raped by a male? If you disagree…just do some research, please.

Feminist Marrige an Oxymoron?

We could burn every single bra we own, throw all of our makeup out, grow hair on our bodies until we can braid it, and purchase stock in Birkenstocks, but by choosing to live in society we cannot avoid acting in ways which support the subordination of women. To lead a totally feminist existence, we would have to move to some deserted island and lead a subsistence-geared life, solely in the company of our fellow eschewers of the great phallus. – R. Martin

Renee Martin uses harsh words in her Womanist Musings, but is she wrong?

I’ve often contemplated the hypocrisy in me getting married and the way I preach about feminist lifestyle.

Diamond wedding bands of possession.Giant white dresses to ensure my “purity,” and my father “giving” me away to my future husband.

…but it all seems so tempting. I do love diamonds, and a giant dress, and party made for the celebration of the rest of my life (supposedly).

Okay, so the question evolves into…how do you maintain your feminist status without giving up the traditions that you would like to indulge in? Can you?

Is it possible to accept an engagement ring as a woman and call yourself an equal partner? I mean you now have some symbol of commitment while your partner is still considered a bachelor – hence the bachelor party ‘last night of being single?’ Which is ridiculous, because statistically someone is going to cheat anyways. But I digress. Bachelor Party vs. Bridal Shower.

Is it possible to change your last name for your partner and call yourself an equal partner? I mean no one can find Sally Johnson from grade school on Facebook because she is no longer Sally Johnson, she is now Sally Anthony. A completely different identity according to FaceBook. I am being facetious, of course – don’t make life decisions based on your FB status – but it’s the same concept, how are you equal if only one of you is giving up your previous identity. Yes…there is a lot in a name, otherwise why ever change it at all?

& the white dress…my goodness… if that is the most absurd tradition that we hold on to. It only magnifies this stigma that women seem to internalize – their sexuality is ‘dirty’ or ‘radical’ or worst ‘whore-ism’ when no one cares to acknowledge the sexual status of the man.

That certainly isn’t equal.

But…What if you both wear an engagement ring? What if you merge last names or create an entirely new one? What if white wasn’t even a color in your wedding? What if you stretch and skew the traditions to mirror your feminist beliefs? Is it still feminist hypocrisy?

What a REAL Woman Looks Like

That’s not okay to say is it?

Then why is no one else irritated of Fox’s new show “More to Love?” Why is it impossible to acknowledge an underrepresented beauty of woman, without putting another person down?

I mean – none – not one – of any female in America has a healthy body image, no matter the size. Is it necessary to tell me that because I have a small frame that I’m not a good representation of a woman? I have been hearing that my entire life and I am very frustrated with it.

“Big girls are much more fun than those skinny little ones.”

It’s exciting to see beautiful women feel empowered by their own body image, but really…. that isn’t necessary. Like Monique telling me that “REAL women don’t wear size zeros.” Excuse me? I invested money in your show to tell me I am not real?

I remember in High School a woman came to talk about her anorexia and I listened intently and compassionately, just before she went off on a tangent about how retail-stores like Abercrombie make size zeros just so they can convince women they need to be small. Are you kidding me?!

We had to write reflection letters thanking her for coming to visit and sharing her story.I politely thanked her for sharing her experience and let her know that retail-stores sell those sizes because real women come in all sizes – in her natural size and mine (size 0). My goodness – I use to intentionally over eat EVERY meal, because I felt like I didn’t look like a ‘real’ woman like everyone around me. It made me literally sick… I wasn’t mean to look like that.

Why don’t people think before they talk? No, I won’t watch ‘More To Love,’ because I am a real woman, too.

Ladies…. why do you ever have to set me back, to put yourself forward?